Today I am just sitting here watching her sleep. Watching every rise and fall of her chest as she breathes. Breathing is something most people take for granted. It's so easy, such a natural thing to do. But Bella has to fight sometimes to breathe...and right now is one of those times. I timed my breathing with hers...she is working so hard. She asleep and resting but she is working so hard to get each breath. CF sucks .. and now add a very strong possibility of asthma and it just makes things harder for her. Her PFTS is 89% at the moment, which is terrible for her as her normal lung function is well above 110%. Having her function that low causes her to work harder for every breath...it wears her out. (Try plugging your nose and walk around breathing through a straw for a few minutes and you'll realize what a constricted airway feels like!!) But she doesn't complain. She tells you she is fine. But her cough tells you otherwise. But she is a trooper. She lines up her meds in order of least tasty to favorite and takes them. Accepts the extra breathing and vest therapy. She is so brave..so grown up sometimes.. but it's times like this that I look at her and only see the precious little girl who wants to be so many different things..a veterinarian, a ninja, a movie star, married and more. I see the little girl that loves snuggles and cuddles, the little girl that loves her stuffed bears, the little girl that just wants to run and play. I want all of that for her. There is a cure out there for CF and it needs to be found.
Today I am just sitting here watching her sleep. Watching every rise and fall of her chest as she breathes. Breathing is something most people take for granted. It's so easy, such a natural thing to do. But Bella has to fight sometimes to breathe...and right now is one of those times. I timed my breathing with hers...she is working so hard. She asleep and resting but she is working so hard to get each breath. CF sucks .. and now add a very strong possibility of asthma and it just makes things harder for her. Her PFTS is 89% at the moment, which is terrible for her as her normal lung function is well above 110%. Having her function that low causes her to work harder for every breath...it wears her out. (Try plugging your nose and walk around breathing through a straw for a few minutes and you'll realize what a constricted airway feels like!!) But she doesn't complain. She tells you she is fine. But her cough tells you otherwise. But she is a trooper. She lines up her meds in order of least tasty to favorite and takes them. Accepts the extra breathing and vest therapy. She is so brave..so grown up sometimes.. but it's times like this that I look at her and only see the precious little girl who wants to be so many different things..a veterinarian, a ninja, a movie star, married and more. I see the little girl that loves snuggles and cuddles, the little girl that loves her stuffed bears, the little girl that just wants to run and play. I want all of that for her. There is a cure out there for CF and it needs to be found.
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